Who among us doesn’t want to be liked? Given the choice, any healthy human being would prefer to be greeted with a smile than with a scowl. To have people eager to sit with us in the cafeteria instead of rising to leave when they see us coming. To be spoken of highly instead of being whispered about behind our backs. According to the Scriptures, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold” (Proverbs 22:1).
But the desire to be liked comes with a warning label: Do not make it your objective. Put another way, always seek to be loving, but not to be liked. We can control the former. We can be controlled by the latter. Being liked is like a drug. It can become addictive.
The more of it we crave the less of it we enjoy. When we make being liked our objective it can make us compromise on being loving. We may refrain from doing the loving thing because it might cause people not to like us. (“They loved the praise of men more than praise from God” John 12:43.)
For an example, we need look no further than Jesus. He always pursued loving others but never sought to be liked. His choices were love-driven even when they rubbed His enemies as well as His friends the wrong way. When the loving thing to do was to praise one of His disciples that’s what He did, and when love called for a rebuke that’s what they got. When love called for Him to leave a town of people who liked Him so much they begged Him to stay, He left. To be consistent in being loving, we are wise to consider being liked a bonus but not our goal.
In short, the Scriptures instruct us to “do everything in love” but never to focus on what is popular.


Pastor your message today absolutely helped me in what I am dealing with my best friends. I need to stop feeling down and depressed because of others.