“How To Really Pay Someone Back”
January 9, 2022
Pursuing getting to know Christ better is not just a mental, emotional or spiritual exercise, it’s the active ingredient for all healthy and God-pleasing spiritual activity. To know Him is to adore Him. To adore Him is to adorn Him. To adorn Him is to grow in love.
Ephesians 1:17 “I keep on asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation so you may know Him better.”
- Paul understood the connection between a vibrant relationship with Christ and a vitalized love for others.
- To read the Scriptures without seeing love is to sail the ocean and not see water. 1 Timothy 1:5 “The goal of our instruction is love.”
- There is no such thing as Christian discipleship without love being its focus. And there is no obedient disciple who is not also a loving disciple.
Text: Romans 12:17-21
All the rules and restrictions of the Old Covenant were a foreshadowing of the sacrifice of Christ, and the requirement to perform them became obsolete when Christ rose from the dead. Now what remains as far as duty goes is love. Galatians 5:6 “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”
Four ways to deal out “sanctified payback.”
- Don’t be vengeful. “Don’t repay evil with evil”
Instead, be generous. Be gracious. Be kind.
Bible scholars suggest that perhaps the “burning coals” is a reference to how not retaliating creates a burning shame and guilt that someone feels when we don’t react in kind. Like when
- Example: David sparing King Saul’s life. Saul repented, at least for a short time.
- Your righteous response highlights their evil behavior.
- Be respectful of others and do the right thing (verse 17).
Sometimes, we do the wrong thing, and people react to it. Then we get offended.
- When we do the wrong thing, the right thing to do is to acknowledge it and say I’m sorry, not to immediately jump to being offended because the person reacted to our offense.
- Be intentionally “you.” “Overcome evil with good.”
Don’t allow someone else’s negative view of you defeat you. Don’t let it stifle you.
- Don’t let the prejudice of someone else deter you from giving your best self and your best effort to the good works God has prepared for you to walk in (Ephesians 1:10).
- Instead of succumbing to the preconceived ideas others may have about you, trust the Lord to help you to rise above their expectations, or their doubts, or their fears, or their past experiences.
Sometimes a negative narrative has developed about us – by either our own doing or because of things said about us. Don’t focus on changing the narrative because some people will never change their minds about you. Instead, do it to live in accordance with your identity in Christ and as an ambassador for Him. Rise above their prejudice by being what God has called you to be and by not being reactionary to the things around you that are trying to stifle that expression.
- Give Others the Benefit of the Doubt. (If it’s possible as far as it depends on you…)
Treat others the way you want to be treated, and if that is hard for you to grasp, sometimes it’s helpful to think about not mistreating others the way you have been mistreated. Remember how that felt and determine to not inflict that wound on someone else.
My appeal to our Valley Brook family. If you feel injured by what you perceive as an offense or a slight: Please keep an open mind that what you may have seen or experienced does not necessarily represent what the other person intended.
Finally, just a few Love Notes
Love is a process.
- Respect your emotions. Emotions are not sinful. Respect them as part of your humanity, even as you seek to manage them in accordance with God’s truth.
- Don’t stuff stuff. If you can’t get past it, talk to the Lord, talk to a therapist, talk to a trusted friend who will be responsible with the information.
Love is never executed flawlessly, but you can give it another coat of paint.
- We can go back and clarify, apologize or try again.
There is no requirement to stay around people who are disrespectful of malicious if we don’t have to.
- Sometimes the best way to be at peace with some people is to be as far away from them as you can get.
As we grow in our relationship with Christ the call to love becomes a nudge, not a shove. A whisper, not a shout. An agreeable debt, not a begrudging duty
Paying others back God’s way is not just the right thing to do, but Proverbs 3:7-8 gives us this instruction: “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.”
May the Lord bless your payback this week with the blessings of health and nourishment.
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